badfalcon: (Flyboys)
[personal profile] badfalcon
Today did not start off well. I didn't sleep particularly well last night; tossed and turned, couldn't get comfy, too hot, too cold... I felt very sluggish and not-rested this morning. It made me late for work, only by like 2-3 minutes but just enough that I felt like I was playing catch-up all day.

I had a fairly productive evening. I got another load of laundry done and did a sinkful of dishes. I went to the gym and did another 2 miles on the treadmill, although I upped my walking pace some and it really made a difference in how much of a workout I felt I got. I read somewhere that to get a really good cardio workout you should aim to walk a mile in 15 minutes, so I set the treadmill to 4mph. I was definitely struggling the last 1/3 of a mile - my legs were aching, I was sweating and panting but I did it. And I felt really fucking awesome.

I did my ESTA Visa Waiver application for my Christmas trip to the states and got instant approval. Yay, the US is planning on letting me in. Wonder if I'll once again get selected for all the extra screening - I've never not been one of the 'random' selections. I think it's the disabled female travelling alone thing. Ugh!

I have thinky thoughts for another day about my use of crutches/wheelchair on bad days vs my using the gym right now on good days. I know there's a difference between working on my fitness and my continued ability to function, between good day and bad days but there's weird fraud-y feelings bubbling around that I can't quite put words to just yet.

This evening I've watched Somewhere Between 1x03 and 1x04, tried and discarded the pilot of Doctor Doctor and watched 12x13 of Supernatural.
badfalcon: (Paper Heart)
[personal profile] badfalcon
I was told in work today that I seemed more like myself today. I did feel brighter this morning but oh boy did I crash this afternoon. Half-way through this afternoon I was just done with the day and wanted it all to go away, was fed up of whiney suppliers and stupid questions. Suppliers chasing an invoice that was cancelled by a full credit in 2012, chasing an invoice that was paid in May. Facilities boss giving me half the info I need to give him an answer.

I've had a semi-productive evening. I did a load of laundry, I did a sink of dishes. I made my packup for tomorrow and I had a culinary failure. My roast potatoes were still uncooked in the middle and my sausages were burned. So that worked out well. I just ended up with some spaghetti and some steamed vegetables. Not exactly exciting or tasty but it was edible.

I did however then binge and eat all the chocolate and cake that was in the house *sigh* Bad Cassie, not going to lose weight doing that. Admittedly it did make me feel a little better. Yay sugar high.

TV wise this evening I have watched the 1x02 of Outlander, the 1x02 of Liar and 1x05-1x06 of Midnight.
Outlander I've been meaning to watch for a while. Everyone talks about it and since it's available on Amazon prime... Clare is gorgeous and I love her voice. I can see why everyone loves Jamie. It's filmed beautifully. The first book is now on my to-read list.
Liar is an ITV drama about a woman who's accused a guy of rape and how it's affecting both their lives. Very powerful stuff but also filmed in a really nice way. Also, Ioan Gruffud
Midnight Texas is LOVE. Also, I was very gleeful that Christopher Heyerdahl was in it. I adore Lem and want to do nasty dirty things to Fiji! You also should have seen my reaction to Joe's Angel wings! <3

OH... HOLY MOTHER OF HE JUST GOT HIS WINGS OUT AGAIN. I MAY NEED A MOMENT TO WHIMPER AND WIBBLE AND RECOVER. FUCK ME SIDEWAYS.

Right.. now, where was I?

I've just started reading the first of the books that, I'm about 50 pages in. Some of the characters are very different - Lem and Manfred physical descriptions especially and I much prefer Lem in the show but I wish Manfred had all the tattoos and piercings he does in the book. But I'm enjoying it so far. I was nervous about it when I realised it was by Charlaine Harris because I wasn't a fan of the Sookie Stackhouse books. It also blew m mind that she wrote the Aurora Teagarden mysteries which I love the movies on Hallmark. I'll be getting the next Midnight two books on payday, they're still on offer on Amazon which is even better and I might see if the Aurora Teagarden ones aren't too expensive.
That 'no buying books' things is doing really well hahaha

Oh! Speaking of Christopher Heyerdahl, it was his birthday yesterday. I tweeted him and he liked my tweet. Happy fangirl was happy.
And seriously, is there anything that man hasn't been in?

My phone is telling me to 'TAKE YOUR FUCKING MEDS' which is my cue to head upstairs when this has finished, take my meds, and start winding down for the evening. Listen to some music and read a little more before turning in.

Let's hope for another good day tomorrow.

Depression is a bitch

Sep. 18th, 2017 06:44 pm
badfalcon: (Default)
[personal profile] badfalcon
My Dreamwidth and Livejournal paid accounts have both expired. Boo. And I'm too broke right now to renew them. First world problems, I know.
Well, I'm not planning on renewing my LJ, not giving them anymore money but I have to work on narrowing down the icons because holycrap I had a love.
Dreamwidth I will definitely be renewing but that's going to have to wait til Friday when I get paid again. Of course, I'm actually going to have to start using my journals again.

I just.. I don't know. Never feel like I have anything to talk about. I work, I read, I watch too much TV. I go to the odd Raintown gig or sci-fi convention but mostly, I'm just boring as fuck. Every time I've opened up this 'post an entry' page lately, I've been feeling very depressed and I don't want to just talk about that, but at the same time, I hate that it's taking this away from me. I'm determined not to let it.

This evening I thumbed my nose at the depression and forced myself to the gym. I did a gentle 2 mile walk on the treadmill - not too fast, not too steep; just a steady gentle walk. I don't really feel like I had a big cardio workout but I really need to build my knee up to it. Right now it's screaming at me :(
But I figure any walk is a good walk, even if I didn't break out a sweat or anything.

Tomorrow's plan is to go to Tesco and grab a couple of frozen ready meals to have on work out days because there's no way in hell my knee is letting me cook. I'd planned on making chicken stirfry but standing to cook was a no-go after working out. So I'm sitting with it up and an ice-pack on it, eating some past and watching Chesapeake Shores.
bluemeridian: (DW :: Text :: Not Impossible)
[personal profile] bluemeridian
I've gotten remarkably lazy about photo taking. phones and cameras )

In other news entirely, I'm outlining two fics. Yeah, I don't know what to do with that, especially since they're Shadowhunters fics. We'll see if they actually end up written, if I can find someone to beta, if, if, if. I haven't written anything* for, uh, years, so I'm kind of fascinated it's happening at all. I'd already written a couple of scenes when I realized a) it was going to be longer than I thought (isn't that a rule of writing?) and b) I really needed an outline. Also there was a second story. On the bright side, the outline is definitely helping clarify things and I'm tentatively setting a goal of having it finished by the end of the week. The outline, that is, not the fic(s).

*On paper - or on screen, as the case may be. In my head or editing my old fic files because they're driving me batty doesn't count. (I've edited my own files enough I should probably re-download the AO3 versions just to keep copies but see the aforementioned batty.)

My pro-fic reading has taken a backseat lately due to stress and falling into the previously mentioned new fandom which, I kid you not, actually involved watching all the available (TV) canon. D watched it with me, which helped, but I couldn't tell you the last time I did any such thing. My brain + TV has had a troubled relationship ever since the 2004 election cycle which, you may note, was 13 years ago. High on that success, I've started watching Leverage from the beginning and I'm hoping, after getting through it, to move on to Avatar: The Last Airbender. I've made attempts at both in the past but failed out because brains are stupid, so fingers crossed it's improved enough I can do it this time.

Having said all that, one of my library holds came up (Hate to Want You by Alisha Rai) so I have a lot to squeeze in suddenly in addition to, ya know, work. Plus, I have two excellent books I was in the middle of before derailment - Spectered Isle by K.J. Charles and, on audio, Karen Memory by Elizabeth Bear (superb voice narration by Jennifer Grace) - that I would really like to get back to, but I don't have to worry about their leases expiring. Not to mention the other 3 I technically have as in progress on GoodReads. Yes, I have a problem. There are worse problems to have but looking at my GoodReads To Read shelf is almost painful because there's too much potential amazing on there.

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